5/06/18
once upon a time there was a girl called Rylee
and she had school weekend’s and in her school
weekend it was bad it was so rainy that her drain
flooded and it made a pond in the paddock and
she was bored because she could not go outside
to play games and she went and stayed at her
aunty's house and when it became afternoon that
in her auntys driveway there was a fire engine
because it was flooded knee deep and so we
went out on the driveway and we went
out on the road and it was nearly up to
my waist and it was so cold and I was shivering to
death and there were people taking videos and
they went past and we were in the video and it
was funny because people were laughing at us
and when we got cold we went inside and me
and my cousin and my sister kaydee went to g
o for a warm shower and it was nice and warm
and then we got out of the shower and we got
dressed and we went and played some games
then we got some ice-cream and then we hat to
go home and my aunty and my cousins stayed
for dinner but when we looked out the window
there dran's overflowed and then after dinner
the drans went down and the my aunty asked
me and kaydee if we wanted to stay again
and I said yes but kaydee said no but then my
aunty was going home and I went with her
and we got to her house and then we watched
the Ace family and then played more games
and went to bed then in the morning we
watched some more of the Ace family and then
we went to the shop and bort some things and
then went around town to see if there were some
bad floods and then we went to go get McDonald
and then take me home then when we got to my
house and we had dinner then dessert and when
we had dessert we had ice-cream with custard and
apple pie and it was nice and that's how Rylee’s
rainy weekends work.
weekend it was bad it was so rainy that her drain
flooded and it made a pond in the paddock and
she was bored because she could not go outside
to play games and she went and stayed at her
aunty's house and when it became afternoon that
in her auntys driveway there was a fire engine
because it was flooded knee deep and so we
went out on the driveway and we went
out on the road and it was nearly up to
my waist and it was so cold and I was shivering to
death and there were people taking videos and
they went past and we were in the video and it
was funny because people were laughing at us
and when we got cold we went inside and me
and my cousin and my sister kaydee went to g
o for a warm shower and it was nice and warm
and then we got out of the shower and we got
dressed and we went and played some games
then we got some ice-cream and then we hat to
go home and my aunty and my cousins stayed
for dinner but when we looked out the window
there dran's overflowed and then after dinner
the drans went down and the my aunty asked
me and kaydee if we wanted to stay again
and I said yes but kaydee said no but then my
aunty was going home and I went with her
and we got to her house and then we watched
the Ace family and then played more games
and went to bed then in the morning we
watched some more of the Ace family and then
we went to the shop and bort some things and
then went around town to see if there were some
bad floods and then we went to go get McDonald
and then take me home then when we got to my
house and we had dinner then dessert and when
we had dessert we had ice-cream with custard and
apple pie and it was nice and that's how Rylee’s
rainy weekends work.
What has happened to your punctuation Rylee? I think you should wait until you have been through your writing to check for errors before publishing. Try writing it on a Monday and then go back to it over the following days. Did you get a buddy to check it too? They should've reminded you that you had no punctuation and were missing capital letters for proper nouns (like your sister's name). I look forward to seeing an improvement next week. Keep trying!
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